So I'm not gonna lie.
I've been avoiding writing this.
Weird, I know. But here's the deal...
a lot of things changed in the last few days before Mack was born and I struggled with the decision to share all of this or not. (not that there are tons of people who read this, but ya put something on the internet,
you can't take it back.)
I kind of did exactly what I tell people to avoid all the time.
Last I wrote, we were scheduled for a c-section because Mack was breech and I just wasn't in it mentally to deliver vaginally that way. Well...a week before my c-section he went head down. Which usually is awesome and wonderful and unicorns and rainbows
all wrapped up in a beautiful package.
Except...I still wasn't in it mentally.
I just was not confident in a) him staying head down and b) my ability to labor and deliver without my constant fear of something going wrong.
I was still worried about the cord and where it was floating around in there, plus I just wasn't convinced he was going to stay down. So I decided to go ahead with the c-section no matter what.
I had a good talk with him about five days before and told him if he wanted to come out on his own he'd have to do it now because otherwise this was happening.
Two days later he went back into transverse position (sideways) for a while and then plopped back down again.
That is when I knew I was making
the right decision for myself.
So Friday morning, we got up early.
5am kind of early.
My surgery was scheduled for 8am so we had to be there two hours before.
I'll be honest...walking into the hospital not in labor was super weird. It felt so surreal, but looking back I kind of enjoyed how peaceful everything was.
I was again sort of weirded out while they checked me in...hooked me up to the monitor to check and make sure baby was ok...all the while I'm just laying there...
not having any contractions.
Then Dr. Bootstaylor came in...we chatted for a few minutes, did some paperwork, and then he said it was time.
And I got to walk myself to the Operating Room.
Talk about crazytown.
So they wouldn't let Graham or Madeline in there while I was getting my spinal block, so I had my midwife, Deena, on one side and Dr. Bootstaylor on the other.
As I was waiting, they had an intern/student helping with my spinal block, I think Deena could sense I was sort of freaking out. All of a sudden I had a split second of second guessing myself. It was just all so "unnatural". But she jumped in and started to small talk with me and we all just sat there quietly talking for a few minutes.
I just kept telling myself,
"different doesn't always mean bad."
Because it's true.
This was a VERY different experience from my previous labors/deliveries...but that doesn't make it bad.
I can't imagine how long and tiring and painful my labor would have been if I had constantly been worried about something going wrong.
--Labor is almost more mental than it is physical. Which is one big reason why I think so many more women are capable of natural child birth than they give themselves credit for.
I think so many women could deliver naturally if they had more people telling them that they were strong and could do it, rather than what will go wrong or how they are incapable.--
I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I wanted my baby in my arms the moment he was born and not a minute after.
I was so worried that if I ended up with another emergency c-section I was risking giving that up.
So, we got the spinal in and they laid me back and started prepping. This is when I started to get really excited.
I was going to be meeting my baby any minute now!
And everyone was being so nice.
Like, unbelievably nice!
I think we were all just so calm and excited to meet a really cute baby ;)
There was lots of tugging and pressure and waiting and more waiting and then all of a sudden they dropped the curtain down and I saw his foot!
It just popped right out! haha
He handed the baby to the midwife and she walked him around to me and placed him directly on my chest.
It was amazing!!!
(I've got tears in my eyes just thinking about it again!)
We laid there for about 30 minutes before the nurse asked to take him...and I was definitely fine with it by then.
Since he didn't labor he had a lot of fluid in his lungs so he was crying a lot.
The crying didn't really bother me, but I thought if he was going to be crying anyway might as well get the weighing and washing over with!
So the nurse went to pick him up and as soon as she pulled away from me everyone on my side of the curtain gasped!
He had pooped alllllllll over us! hahaha
I just had no idea!
I was too busy snuggling him to notice!
So they took him and weighed him and cleaned him up, while the anesthesiologist cleaned me up, and then brought him back where Graham and Madeline got some turns to hold him :)
By this time I was starting to get tired.
I had been up so early with adrenaline pumping that I was definitely starting to crash a little bit.
So once everything was done and sewn up they rolled me back to the 2hr recovery room where my parents and sister got to meet Mack.
It was so fun passing him around and taking pictures and talking about how lovely the whole experience was.
The rest of the day went well and I just could not have asked for a better experience.
It seriously went above and beyond my wildest dreams!
Now, I'm still a big supporter of natural birth and think that it's absolutely the best way to go if you are able...
but I wouldn't change Mack's birth for anything.
He did so amazing and we bonded so well
with the family centered c-section.
Here are some pictures taken during surgery with the go-pro and regular camera...and after in the recovery room.
Prepped and ready to go!
Graham and Madeline are anxiously waiting.
Let's do this!
In my arms at last!
So handsome with Aunt Courtney :)
LOOK AT THOSE CHEEKS, Y'ALL.
Thanks for sticking around for such a long story...
it feels great to get all that out.
I'm going to get back to snuggling my Mackers now :)